On a recent vacation to Florida, we met a family in the pool with a fairly challenged young adult with autism. He was minimally verbal and because he loved Power Rangers, he used them to interact with others around him. His favorite was the yellow power ranger, Trini Kwan, originally played by Thuy Trang, Vietnamese American actress.
With his parents facilitating, he played and splashed with the younger kids. He was in his early 20's and was tall to boot. In all the fun he caught sight of a young woman of apparent Vietnamese descent - probably also in her early 20's - and couldn't contain his excitement. He called to her, tried to approach her, with arms flailing and an ecstatic voice but no discernable words. His parents tried to calm him down and I tried to help by distracting and re-directing. I never really paid attention to the young woman, or even thought about her. But my amazing husband did. While we were working to calm this young man down, my husband was explaining the situation and assuring the young woman that she was safe.
When the situation was diffused and others had left the pool, my husband told me what he had done. I was honestly in awe of him. While we were so focused on the young man, my husband was the one who assessed the situation and saw what else was needed. It was a type of support that I had never thought about.
The meltdowns or outbursts of our kiddos can be hard to interpret by others who don't know what is happening. Speaking for myself, when I am in the thick of it, my mind definitely races from one thing to another: how did we get here? What were the signs I missed? What are those people thinking? How can I diffuse this before it gets worse? But my thoughts of others are generally limited to that. My husband taught me something new that day; a new way to support each other.
By reaching out to this confused and upset young woman, he looked beyond our little group of chaos and likely did more for this young man than we did. Indeed, in that moment, he did more for our community as a whole.
I post this because sometimes we get so caught up in what is happening with our loved ones at the moment that we don't think about how reaching out to those around us can help increase understanding and maybe even lessen the pressure on ourselves and our families. My husband taught me a very important lesson that day, I just hope I can bring it to the fore the next time I am in that situation!
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