When our pediatrician first mentioned speech therapy, our son was about one and a half. He had spoken a couple of words ("star", "laundry") - but only once each. The rest of the time he communicated by directing us to what he wanted. No grunts or whines, just direction and using us as tools. At times, you could almost see him searching for the word, but just not finding it. However, most of the time he just used "the force" which entailed looking at you and then staring down what he wanted, and that always seemed to be clear enough.
This was really one of the few times that my husband and I were not on the same page. He agreed that we should pursue speech therapy. I felt that our son just wasn't ready and seeing how he behaved overall, I truly felt that unless and until 1) he was ready, and 2) we addressed what was increasingly looking like autism spectrum, speech therapy would be useless. We decided to wait.
We didn't really understand what speech therapy was - or what he really needed - and that is a post for another time.
What we did know is our kid. We tried to get our pediatrician to look at autism, and even though our son met the screening criteria, it was just something that his doctor avoided like the plague. Branching out on our own, we found a wonderful neuropsychologist, and with a newly minted 3-year-old and an affirmative diagnosis of autism spectrum (mild-moderate), we embarked on a search for the right speech pathologist.
We started with the speech pathologist who came strongly recommended by our pediatrician. Although a nice woman, the screening was nothing less than disastrous. All our son wanted to do was remove himself from the situation and he kept trying to bolt. When it was over, the therapist informed us that she likes to "break the children down" first and then reestablish trust, which meant it might take 2 or 3 months before any work is actually achieved. Furthermore, she talked about our son as if he wasn't there; as if his inability to communicate his thoughts in words somehow rendered him unable to understand.
When we returned for the screening results, our son had fallen asleep on the ride and she graciously came out to meet us with the report. After revealing her "methodology", my husband and I had already decided that we didn't think she was the one for our family. When our son awoke to see her standing with us in the parking lot, he started crying saying "no no no no" in a panic - we knew we were right.
On the way home, we assured him that we would not be returning and decided right then and there that we would, to the best of our ability, allow him to "choose" his speech pathologist. We also agreed that if it took more than four attempts, we would then step in to make the choice. Fortunately, it did not take that long.
We lucked out. We found Jenny's Speech and Learning in Tucson, Arizona and it was a success. It was clear from the moment we walked in the door that this was the place for us. The therapists, the staff, the entire environment embodied caring and community. Our son wasn't talked around, he was talked to. He had fun and left there happy - he had chosen.
Don't be afraid to follow your child's lead, or your gut. Therapy - no matter what kind - is a partnership. Professionals have different techniques and ideas and you need to find the right fit for your family. Don't settle for a bad fit because another professional made a recommendation, or because a provider encourages you that their method is the best when you aren't quite comfortable with it. There is someone for everyone and finding that fit makes all the difference in the world.
NOTE: Jenny's no longer offers in-office services, but does still operate through tele-practice. You can find them at jennysspeech.com.
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