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Writer's pictureDani DuBois

Sleep. . . UGH!

In 'Twas The Night Before Christmas, it never says "not a creature was stirring, unless you have someone on the Autism spectrum . . .".


They say that once you become a parent, you never get any sleep. This is especially true for those of us with kids on the spectrum. And as our kiddos grow and their bodies change, some of the strategies we use might have to change along with them.


When very small and unable to sleep, in addition to the nightly lullaby music that he still listens to today, my husband and I would take turns applying pressure to our son while he lay in bed. Like a strong hug, it would calm his body and allow him to fall asleep.


In his preschool/early elementary years, our son would wake in the middle of the night and, try as he might, not be able to get back to sleep. It was heartbreaking to watch him toss and turn for an hour, sometimes more, sometimes driving him to tears, all in an effort to get back to sleep. I would place my forehead on his and work to get my breathing in tune with his so I could then slow him down and help him establish a regular breathing pattern conducive to sleep.


As he aged, we started using Melatonin and weighted blankets and body pillows, but when he started to complain of nightmares, we saw that for some, melatonin supplements could cause nightmares, and looked for other solutions. We decided to ditch the Melatonin supplement for a therapy light in the morning to help regulate his melatonin more naturally and that has helped. In addition to the weighted blanket and body pillows (that he can stim on at night), we have added a weighted "snake" that he can use as a "hug" as he sleeps. In addition to our nightly reading, he now asks for "stories" that he says help him fall asleep with good dreams. These are comprised of stories of our lives: what it was like when we were growing up, how his father and I met, stories about his grandparents and other family members, memories of vacations . . . all told while snuggled in bed and lights out.


I don't imagine these current solutions will last forever and we will again be at the drawing board with another big leap in his development, but for now, we are on a steady course.


If you have a loved one who is struggling with sleep, we know personally how taxing that can be. One thing about parents with kids on the spectrum, we are flexible and creative. Ask your friends and support groups about their techniques and ideas and ultimately, do what works for you and your family and don't look back.


There are many resources out there and I have included a link to one that has some ways to improve sleep routines. It is on the Amerisleep website, and should not be considered an endorsement for their products, but it does have some useful information that you might find of value.


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